Clever Characters

Lowest Common Denominator

2011-12-11T15:26:00.000-08:00

The phone rings and I answer. Tell me more about your child. What is going on at school? How long does homework take nightly? What is their attitude like? Panic, anger, and fear tumble awkwardly out. Can you help my child? My response is simple, "Sounds like we need to get an accurate picture of what is going on. We need an assessment to show us how your child learns and where they are academically." With that one call their journey to hope has begun.

The parent and child arrive for the assessment. I sit and talk with the parents while the assessment is taken. It is so common to hear, "My child has developed a horrible attitude" or "My child lies to me all the time about school" or "my child's teacher says he daydreams all the time." From my experience I know these are common coping mechanisms. I remember in fourth grade I was a daydreaming fool. I was overwhelmed by a new school and math was torture. I would leave to a happy place in Lubbock, Texas. (Yes Lubbock, stop snickering)

When any of us feel backed in a corner the majority of our blood bypasses the cognitive part of the brain to support the survival or fight or flight part. We are now ready for the battle, aka fractions.

I found in repeating this process again, and again. and again that there is one lowest common denominator. FEAR. The parent, child and teacher all three tied by fear to a child's performance. This is so very backwards to me but I will not get on that soapbox. I simply want to point out that FEAR cripples us to the point that blood moves from the logic driven part of our brain to the survival part. Fear is usually accompanied by a lie that keeps us from believing we can accomplish our destiny. I believe one person believing in a child can release them from fear and catapult them into their annointed destination.

"They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17:8

A day passes and I have the assessment results to share. I explain strengths and weaknesses, make an individualized remediation plan, and contact the child's teacher to share the results. I coach the parents to look into their child's eyes and say four words: I believe in you! If their child's gaze is constant they received this blessing, if they look away they do not. Say it again until their gaze is unflappable.

Practical tip for Parents

1.Operate from a place of truth, assumptions and opinions leave you and your child vulnerable. Knowing how your child thinks(processes) and what they know is very beneficial. This is true spiritually as well.

2.Tell your child you believe in them. This works on spouses too!

3. Compliment your child on their work ethic not their smarts. They can always work harder but children tend to give up when they think they are not smart enough.

4.Teach your child to set goals with incremental doable parts.

5.Pick a scripture or two and have your child translate them into their own words. Use their words as an affirmation to say to themselves each morning and in stressful situations at school. We did this when KB was diagnosed as dyslexic. Here is her affirmation:

I am very special because I am God's child. I will always do my best and be a leader. I can do all things because Jesus gives me strength. I love God and God loves me.

I may have used this myself on especially stressful days.

6.Remember school is the only time mastery over all subjects is required. After graduation we pick our strengths to work and play in.

A Flicker

2011-10-16T06:48:00.000-07:00

Last week the storms came through and at one point our home's lights dimmed, flickered, and then returned to brightness. This occurrence made me think about my mother. In the most recent months she has been diagnosed with dementia. From day to day I am never quite sure if her mind will be dim or bright. Some days it starts a bit dim then a flicker seems to occur and she is bright again.

This has thrown me for a loop on multiple levels. I've had countless tear filled conversations with God. At other times I have shook my fist at Him in rage. My overwhelming thought is THIS IS NOT FAIR. I WANT MY MOMMY. After my fit I crawl into His arms for comfort. I can think of no other place to go.

I think my hardest hurdle is the regret that accompanies this. Why didn't I talk more and watch television less on my visits to her home. Why didn't I plan more grandmother dates for my mom and my daughter? Why...it is the word that is causing me the greatest amount of pain.

WHY is the reason I am writing this. None of us knows what the future holds. My hope is that today you will stop and call your mom. Have a pleasant conversation that is all about her. Ask questions about her youth. Invite her to relive her first date with your dad, her wedding, how she felt when you were born. Ask questions about her favorites : vacation, song, Bible verse, holiday, song. Leave yourself out of the equation and focus on blessing her.

Time keeps on slipping into the future. -Steve Miller

Hail Damage

2011-04-23T18:36:00.000-07:00

I remember a conversation with my Life Coach about ten years ago. I was hurting. My heart was breaking. I truly thought it was more than I could bear. What he said was life changing. "Stop carrying this in your mind. Move it to your heart and let God carry it with you. Your mind was not made to carry this. God works in ways your mind cannot understand. But your heart was made to link with His. He wants to carry this."

Fast forward 7 years. The amount of pain and disappointment we have walked through as a family makes the pain of ten years ago seem like a pinprick. Cancer, unemployment, death of a parent, miscarriage, more unemployment, difficult people, dementia, heath issues, car trouble and that is the stuff I can list in a public forum. The difficult path my family is on includes extended family members as well. About the time I think things are making a turn for the better there is more news to process and release to God. When sharing details with a friend she commented, "Wow life sure has left a lot of hail damage on your heart." She was right. The constant pounding was damaging my heart, my dreams, and even my body. Stress is brutal.

We shared our pain with Pastors from our church. "This is great, God is up to something." I really wanted them to validate my pain and pray for me but they were absolutely giddy. "I remember when....and then their story tumbled out. That verse about FAITH coming by hearing. It is true. Hearing their stories helped. We were encouraged.

Year three of this saga began and it honestly felt like treading water...in a hurricane. EXHAUSTION. FEAR. ANGER. DOUBT. I made daily decisions not to camp anyplace that stole my joy. The JOY of the LORD is my strength. I would claim this repeatedly by faith.

CUE HAPPY ENDING WITH WARM FUZZY MUSIC.
About that happy ending. Seems it is a work in progress. So I'd like to share thoughts from those who have encouraged me.

"What promises do you think are past due from God? Your destiny does not have an expiration date. Judge God faithful and pray to be released at the appointed time!"-Chistine Caine.

"God will not put you in a place where your character cannot support your destiny." -Robert Morris.

Just do your part. Obedience plus God equals supernatural activity. TRUST God has gone behind the scenes to manipulate things for you. When difficulty arises fight your instinct to take control and stand still. Once you are still then keep God's promises close to your heart, stand on these. Realize this scenario may be so you see God in a new way. Walk only in the steps he suggests. Do not let all your gifts and talents distract you from missing His path for your life. Be quiet, and guard against complaining. -Priscilla Shirer

"Your destiny is not about you. It is about understanding the justice of God and His purpose, then aligning yourself." -Mary Dunham Faulkner

"Sometimes God trusts your relationship enough to take the long route. The path you are on is never just about you. It is about those on the path with you and His name being glorified.- Charlotte Gambill

"Walk in the season God has called you. Stop comparison. Imitation is limitation. Anointing remains in you, nobody can teach you. It is innate in you. (1John 2:27) Always consider the spiritual realm and ask to see by the spirit." -Michelle Brogan

"There is NO wasted anointing."-Cindy Jacobs

"Are you holding on to where you were instead of living where you are? STOP IT! that's no way to walk into your destiny"-TD Jakes

My prayer is that whatever parts of your life have been crumpled to death will be be fully restored this EASTER weekend. I believe the same Resurrection power that brought Jesus back to life is available for you!

Practical resources:
From Dream to Destiny, Robert Morris
Plan B, Pete Wilson
Life Interrupted, Priscilla Shirer

"I think we can all learn a thing or two from KB," my sister Jana.

2010-09-03T07:09:00.000-07:00

Tuesday night I went upstairs to get Katie Beth for dinner. I found her seated in the family room with her father deep in conversation. When KB turned around I could tell she had been crying. As Brad looked at me he said, "I think you should ask your mom about this too." And so she did. "Mom, why did Adam and Eve have to sin? What made them want to do things their way instead of God's way. Why didn't God stop them? And now look around at our world, so many people are hurting from sin." Tears ran down her face.

I won't go into my response because I want to focus on her wisdom.

At eight she knows that individual sin impacts generations.

She knows sin is the choice of not yielding our will to God's desire. In short she understands the root of sin is self. AKA selfish, self-reliant, self serving...
Sin, the decision to allow "my will" into the driver's seat instead of "God's will", separates me from God. Sometimes my driving yields evil works, other times good works, but the separation occurs when I choose to plug into myself as the source of life instead of God.

It hurts her heart deeply to think of our world separated from God. She knows what it feels like to be very close to God and she hurts for those who do not have this connection.

I was deeply convicted by Katie Beth's insights. In the quiet of the evening I sat down and had a deep conversation with my daddy. "Father I know my sin impacts the next generation. Please forgive me. And please show mercy by stopping the consequences of my sin here and now. Pull me near Father so I can hear you clearly especially when I am tempted to lean on my own understanding. Forgive me for trying to be my own source of strength. I want you to be the Lord of my WHOLE life. Please transform me into your likeness. Forgive me for being so invested in my own pain that I fail to see those hurting right in front of me. Touch my heart so I hurt deeply for those separated from you."

Tuesday night's teachable moment left me humbled and amazed to be Katie Beth's mom. My friend Sylvia shared Matthew 11:25-26 with me after a conversation she had with Katie Beth two years ago. It says, "I praise you Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you Father, have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes Father, for this was your good pleasure."

Observations of the Circus

2010-08-24T08:25:00.000-07:00

I took Katie Beth and two of her friends to the circus this summer. I jotted down the following observations while I was there.

1. People attending actually dress as clowns. WHOLE families showed up in clown attire. Which leads me to the obvious question: Why? It is 5 million degrees and the way your clown make up is running down your face scares me.

2. Watching the acrobats perform I was reminded of a fantastic book I read this summer. Think Differently, Live Differently by Bob Hamp. You should read it.

3. What leads one to the following declaration, " Mom when I grow up I want to train zebras." ?

4. When we were led in the National anthem I made the scientific discovery that by and large Texans can sing pretty darn good.

5. Not sure what this is about but I was very jealous of the sheen of the horses' hair. Seriously how do they get that beautiful shine? I think my hair is having a mid-life crisis.

6. Souvenirs: Boys want a sword. Girls want a stuffed animal. Hmmm, boys want to protect and girls want to nurture. How 'bout that DNA.

7. Found myself looking for David Letterman. The Circus animal acts equals pet tricks on steroids.

8. Asia the Elephant was unflappable despite an unscheduled loud noise. Her concentration was impeccable. What do I need to practice relentlessly so I will be unflappable?

9. How much do the people in black get paid? I look good in black.

10. Clearly a middle age female wrote the script for this year's show. How do I know? The villain's name is Mr. Gravity. Yeah, I'm feeling it.

11.The greatest feats all required tethers to stabilize the apparatus. What tethers me?

12. It seemed really loud to me. Not to this guy. Probably had to work 3 jobs just to pay for the souvenirs and food.

Friendly Fire

2010-08-22T08:38:00.000-07:00

I have battled faulty thinking off and on my whole life. The flow goes like this. I believe God loves me BUT He HAS TO to love me for crying out loud by definition HE IS LOVE. Therefore God's love is all about HIM and not necessarily about ME. The thinking discounts His love for ME and makes me feel as if it is an obligation or chore to love me. The same thinking warps how I think Brad sees me. It goes like this. He has to love me because he is my husband. He promised God he always would. Deep sigh, but does he even like me? Separating my thinking from God's truth has been very difficult. One of the most comforting verses in the Bible for me is "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;" Proverbs 3:5. In my mind's eye I picture myself placing all my weight on a pile of words that explode. And then I hit the ground, HARD. As you can imagine this unbridled thinking is a far cry from the abundant life God wants for me.

When I learned I was pregnant I made a choice to address this full on. I did not want to mother from this shaky foundation. God helped me. He used scripture, wise counsel, and a voice that sounds a whole like me but is smarter to heal me. Together we walked through lies I had believed and I learned HIS truth about me.

"Happy (blessed, fortunate, enviable) is the man who finds skillful and godly Wisdom, and the man who gets understanding [drawing it forth from God's Word and life's experiences]",Proverbs 3:13-17 (Amplified Bible)

Here's A Quarter

2010-08-17T10:26:00.000-07:00

When Brad and I were first dating we had a conversation about money that we have referred back to many times. I was teaching kindergarten at the time and sharing my frustration about teaching the value of twenty-five cents. He pulls a coin out of his pocket and said,"Deana just hand them a quarter." I thanked him for the solution, pocketed the newly aquired quarter, rolled my eyes dramatically and said, "or 25 pennies, two dimes, and a nickel, fifteen pennies and a dime, there are many correct answers to this one question!" He grinned and playfully said, "I guess there is more to it than just a quarter. I'm glad I'm not the Kindergarten Teacher." To this day when we face a challenge and are getting frustrated during our brainstorming Brad will pop out the word, "Quarter" several times in a row and we will laugh. "Quarter,quarter" is an instant reminder that life's questions can have more than one right answer.

Recently I have been bombarded with the following phrase "My husband tries but he just doesn't (fill in the blank) the way I would with the kids." And I will even fess up to having the same thought. Funny how I know there is more than one right way to do many things but I think my way is the best. I also panic about the idea of what would happen if I was not around to raise our daughter. Sad isn't it? I married this fabulous man and I undercut (if only in my mind) his value regularly because he does something differently than I would have. I can hear my mom saying in her funny voice, "Me thinks you think too highly of yourself." I always loved that she said that in a funny voice because it cut me to the quick but made me smile at the same time.

EPHESIANS 4:4-7
"You were all called to travel on the same road and in the same direction, so stay together, both outwardly and inwardly. You have one Master, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who rules over all, works through all, and is present in all. Everything you are and think and do is permeated with Oneness. But that doesn't mean you should all look and speak and act the same. Out of the generosity of Christ, each of us is given his own gift." -The Message

Where I am from.......310, 512, 915, 903, 214, 917, 815

2010-07-02T09:56:00.000-07:00

I got a confirmation e-mail for my daughter's session to Horse Camp in Dallas. I looked through it and noticed the contact number is a 512 area code. That's Austin, I thought to myself. Must be her cell. When we moved from Dallas to Fort Worth I did not change my cell number. In fact the area codes listed in the title are friends of mine who no longer live in that area code but kept their number. We keep our numbers due to contractual obligations. Or we keep it to remain connected to our contacts. And of course convenience plays into this as well. It occurred to me that these 3 digits are part of our story. They tell where we are from.

As a life coach I often hear the following. "These people knew me at this stage of my life but that is not me anymore. I have changed. I am afraid to reconnect with them. I hope they do not see me how I was." Their fear seems to stem from a moral failure,a dissolved marriage or the perception of unmet potential. The basic question is "If they REALLY knew me would they love me, accept me, stay connected with me." This mindset has kept many a person from connecting with a past friend who too has evolved.....possibly to be a huge blessing and advocate for the new you. I love Brandon Heath's song I am not who I Was. I recommend you click on the link and watch the song's video on You Tube. It is powerful.

Back to your area code. I am not sure where you have come from BUT the last part of your life need not be defined by it. Sometimes we stay connected to our past due to contractual obligations or inner vows. I will never cross the Red River. I will never step foot in a church again.I will never speak to them. I will never get married again. Without realizing it you have just superglued your past to your present. You must break that contract.

Sometimes we remain stuck to our past due to relationships. I can remember in my early 20's attending a conference that was outside my normal church experience. I kept thinking "Oh please do not let anyone I know see me. I do not want them to think...." And so I was willing to stay stuck in my old relationship with God due to the fear of how my relationships would react. Sad but true. And I see this in the lives of my clients as well. They get stuck because they do not want to disappoint a relationship. Even a really dysfunctional relationship.

Convenience seems to rule supreme. Walking away from how the past defines you is never convenient. In fact it often requires thinking about what you are thinking about. In fact it takes a conscience effort to decide what is worth keeping in your thought patterns and what should be thrown out. This process is best accomplished when delegated to God.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

Allow Him to speak into your thought life and create divine destiny in you. Follow this with soul searching to find the lies of the past that still define your current reality. Ask forgiveness for believing the lie and then ask God to reveal HIS truth about you.

817, 915, 214, are all former area codes of mine. With each comes set of memories that both enrich me and torment me. The digits serve as reminders of where I have been and how far I have come. And that is worth taking the time to ponder.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." II Corinthians 5:17.

Getting what I deserve

2010-06-27T16:33:00.000-07:00

On this particular Saturday I was downstairs in the office listening to a podcast. I thought I heard Brad and Katie Beth laughing really hard through the headphones. I WAS WRONG. Brad came down with a look on his face that is best described as terror. He needed me upstairs. Katie Beth had been crying really hard, not laughing. As he was blow drying her hair she leaned on a vase causing it to shatter. Her finger was split wide open. Blood was everywhere. Let me restate that A LOT OF BLOOD WAS EVERYWHERE!!! The floor, the sink, the counter, the mirror, their clothes...EVERYWHERE. I applied pressure to the cut. Eventually we determined that a trip to the E.R. was not necessary. Brad began cleaning up the blood and broken glass. Eventually the blood clotted and I sent Katie Beth to her room to recover.

As we continued cleaning the mess Brad and I shared a tense conversation. He was angry because he had told her not to lean on the vase and she disobeyed. "Deana she could have......." a million worst case scenarios spilled out. I stopped him and said, "She wasn't, she was protected. We were protected. It is time to rejoice."

I went in to talk with Katie Beth. Her first question was hard. "Mom did I get what I deserved or was this a consequence?" I paused. I prayed. I hugged her. Eventually I said,"If you mean is God in heaven looking down and happy you got hurt because you disobeyed your daddy then NO that is not the case. God is never happy about His children being hurt. I do not know what the true consequence is for your accident because things could have been so much worse. You could have lost a finger. You could have hurt your eyes very badly. It seems to me like you were protected. I do know that anytime we disobey we should not be allowed in God's presence or have His protection so you did not get what you deserved either."

After that Brad came in and we talked to her about the selfishness of her disobedience. She asked Brad for forgiveness. Brad forgave her and engulfed her small frame in his arms. Then we prayed to ask God help her obey the next time. And then we thanked God for protecting her from the consequences and providing Jesus as way to continue to be in His prescence. We thanked Him for His forgiveness. And we thanked Him for His Holy Spirit that can help Katie Beth the next time.

Nuggets:

Disobedience hurts you and the ones who love you.

Fear leads to what ifs and what ifs steal our joy.

Lies are planted in trauma. The thought, am I getting what I deserve or is this a consequence, shows a root lie. "I alone control my destiny." If I am good enough all will go well or if I am bad enough I will be punished. In my experiences with God bad occurs, good occurs but His provision, protection, and plan for my life always bring me to a place that serves HIM best.

Mother's Day: Can I please get a do over?

2010-05-13T07:10:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day is sooo overrated. Perhaps this has not been the case for you but for several of my friends last Sunday's disappointment produced a flood of tears still trickling days later. I am not sure of all the reasons this day has become such a letdown, but it has for many. I know expectations play a role, then there is the whole confusion of who honors who, and how they should be honored. So I want to help you out with a few observations. Guys do not tell your wife, "But your not my mom." This will be met with a waterfall of tears. Daughters do not say to your mom, "What have YOU planned for Mother's Day? Remember this year I am a mom too?" And in general avoid statements like,"You're JUST a step mom do you celebrate mother's day?" And guys, we really do want to honor your mom but PLEASE do not make us feel like sloppy seconds or an afterthought. It hurts.

After a few days to ponder this I think several forces are at play. First are mom expectations. We are good at the whole planning a celebration thing. Or if we aren't good we can google it and make it look like we are. So being celebrated this one day seems like a small thing to ask. And then there is insecurity. Is there anyone alive who has not battled this cancer on their soul? Insecurity surfaces in pride, " I deserve to be honored." Or it shows up in shame, "I'm not as good a mom as Mary, I should..." Both views alter our ability to FULLY receive any type of blessing from our families. Ask God to replace the seed of insecurity with revelation of His favor for you.

Next is the hustle and bustle of life. Our family may not realize all it takes to notice and celebrate us.In fact our family might just be so busy with their own life that Mother's Day seems more like a bump in the road than a mission critical celebration. I would ask you fellows out there to consider approaching Mother's Day in the same way you would a project for your boss. Go ahead and mark April Fool's as the start date in you blackberry. Research and development:Contact her friends for ideas, notice specific things she does and take notes. Collaborate findings with your kids. Start on the best idea from the family brainstorming session. By the time Mother's Day comes you can all celebrate good times.

A third factor to overcome in Mother's Day is the hatred satan has for life. Sounds weird perhaps but God uses women to give birth to new creations. Satan births nothing and has no new ideas. His pattern is lie about God's character, lie about our worth, plant strife, repeat. Lisa Bevere in her book Nurture defines mothers as "Those who lay down life as to give life whether this is by way of natural childbirth, adoptions or rescue, advocates for children and change, protectors, nurturers, and healers of the sick. Ones who respond to a child's cry in the night, masters at multi-tasking, one who feeds and sustains life with warmth and what beauty she finds. She is a wiper of tears, calmer of fears, tender of injuries, instructor, teacher friend and confidant who gives advice whether you ask for it or not." If you were satan wouldn't you try to knock her off course as much as possible? Seriously, she is lethal to all things demonic. Guys keep this in mind and battle on her behalf. Your prayer covering makes a world of difference.

If Mother's Day did not go so well this year I would like to give you permission for a "do over." If your family is not up for it perhaps your girlfriends are. My prayer is that you are celebrated for the contribution you are making as a mother. I pray that His grace and mercy are felt by you everyday. May your weakness become His strength. May your children know Him at a young age and never wander away from His voice. And may His covering of favor release you to nurture. Because when you do that the world is turned upside down, in a good way. And may peace, joy, and hope be your stepping stones. In Jesus name, Amen

Why wouldn't you believe you can make a difference in the world?

2010-05-07T06:41:00.000-07:00

Can I ask you a question? If I have heard that phrase once in my marriage I have heard it a thousand times. It has always cracked me up that Brad asks if he can ask a question rather than just firing away. Last night was no exception. He called me onto the patio to enjoy the beautiful night and he asked, "Can I ask you a question?" I replied with "Just one?" He grinned and said,"Why do I think I can make a difference in the world?" This question could easily come from the heart of any of us so I decided to share my response.

You believe you can make a difference in the world because God told you that you could. When you were in your mother's womb God was with you. He was there for nine months. His spirit connected to you without distraction. It was as if the two of you were one. He was speaking your mission into you and wiring you for it at the same time. When God speaks....He creates.....a thought uttered by Him becomes a reality. So God spoke "minister to fatherless boys" into you and by speaking this into you also gave you the gifts and passion to fulfill it.

This nine month love fest left a piece of heaven in you so for the rest of your days on earth you will yearn for this same intimacy with God. When you were in the womb you were not concerned about working to get God's approval. You floated around in your mom's belly and grew in wisdom and stature. Immediately upon birth the assault on your mission began. Satan knows if he can get you to abort your mission before your character supports it chances are you will never meet your divinely implanted destiny. You were taught how to think and act to please others and win their approval. You had lies spoken over you. And then there is see-saw of sin and religion. It can sure mess things up too. Can you imagine how different the world would look if each of us walked in our divine mission?
Churches are filled to the brim with walking wounded. Their mission has faded into the background of their productive lives. They are good people who do their best but the mission they were created for is left undone.....and so are they. It is not uncommon for these same members to have fallen into addiction. Between the feeling that there must be more to life than this and the wounds they carry distraction is needed. And so they fill themselves with accomplishments, food, sports, drugs, porn, exercise, the Internet, parenting and travel.

The good news is that at any minute the mission can be pursued. Part of losing your addiction is walking toward your mission. And the rest is listening to the one who created you and allowing Him to speak into you again. When God speaks....He creates.....a thought uttered by Him becomes a reality.

As a life coach I have observed that people commonly ask a question they already know the answer to. This is the case with Brad. He knows he can make a difference in the world he simply wants permission to do it. With that in mind I would tell you that YES, you can make a difference so GO FOR IT!!!

Something Borrowed for Someone Blue

2010-05-06T07:49:00.000-07:00

Wednesday mornings are sacred. I drive to a church in Argyle to meet with a group of ladies none of which I have much in common with on the surface. There is a bold grandmother whose husband is battling cancer, a sassy single mom of two girls, a spunky newlywed who has 9 children, a feisty single professional working with a start-up company offering mortgages specifically tailored for public servants, a generous grandmother whose husband is a non believer, a kind mom battling very painful physical ailments and a beautiful mom of two and ministry leader.

We are supposed to be studying a book called Nurture by Lisa Bevere. Somewhere along the path we stopped studying nurture and became nurture. The allotted time has shifted. We share each other's lives more and discuss the latest chapter of the book less. I think Lisa would be proud because we are living out what she has written about. “Women –daughters and mothers- of all ages need to awaken and recover their capacity to nurture just as mothers and daughters of all ages need to be strategically positioned to both receive and transfer this indelible life force.”

Together we have walked through physical healing, lawsuit drama, job loss, emotional healing, life management, adoption, ex-husbands, diva girlfriends, and did I mention sex? Well yes we bring it ALL to the table. Some weeks I come as one in need of encouragement other weeks I come as the one with encouragement to offer. Every week I walk out stronger.

"I just lent her my strength so she could believe and realize she could trust what she already knew to be true deep within her soul." -Lisa Bevere

Each of us acknowledges the unique blessing of this group. God's hand is on it. I know this because of what is missing. There is no judgement, no gossip, no masks, no rejection, and I mean this in the most spiritual of ways no BS. We are real, He is real, our prayers are real, and the strength we offer each other is real. I pray you find a group like this to walk through your life. And I pray this happens sooner than later. And remember, “There is something within you that this world desperately needs.” -Lisa Bevere

List is a Four Letter Word

2010-05-03T11:46:00.000-07:00

For as long as I can remember I have made a scheduled "to do" list. I am not sure all of the reasons why but this list makes me feel secure. Sometimes I actually add things at the end of the day so that I can mark a line through them. Weird I know. I am a strategic planner who very much enjoys the sense of accomplishment that rolls over me at the end of the day when I review my "to do" list. Because God does not have cable and enjoys a good sitcom I am married to Brad. When we first married Brad was quick to point out that the word list is a four letter word. Brad is spontaneous, impulsive, and wired full throttle for adventure.

As a family we are in a very unique season. Transition is our current theme and we are seeking God's will for everything in our lives. So my "to do" list has only one item. 1.GOD: Listen and obey. As you can imagine this has been a struggle for me. I keep wanting to sit down the night before and make "the list" but I am not allowed. Very clearly this time is about listening, learning, and then doing.

In so many ways this season reminds me of when Brad and I first began dating. I would get ready, he would show up,and the adventure would begin. I learned a lot about his heart during our courtship. And that is how I feel right now about God. I am learning so much about His heart. Because my agenda is off the table the relationship is taking a more serious turn. I have discovered I can trust His character. His mission resonates deeply in my heart. And I am completely overwhelmed with His view of me. Each day is a unique adventure by divine design. My sense of accomplishment at the end of the day is the knowledge that I have the courage to trust Him fully and obey Him completely. Some of the things He has requested for me to do are downright uncomfortable. But I am starting to thrive in this wild adventure. In fact I can't remember when I have felt so alive.

And just because God has a grand sense of humor Brad asked me today to help him make a strategic plan. I replied, "You mean a "to do" list?"

Tick, tick, tick...

2010-04-23T09:02:00.000-07:00

When I was fresh out of college I went to work at a place where my boss told me I was too idealistic and optimistic. He went on to say Deana in time you will come to know your limitations. His statement cut me like a knife. Sadly the place I worked was a church and my boss an older minister whose journey left him burned out.

I know a lot of people who are trapped with him in a place where disappointment and pain have wrapped their heart so tightly that their purpose has been traded for provision. The unique dream God deposited in them has become submissive to the soul's truth. Their resignation from their God appointed purposes quietly submitted. Their life secure, stable, responsible... and boring. Something is missing.

Easter Sunday we traveled to the church where my parents attend. On the way we passed an establishment that was a known swingers hangout. We were happy to find it had closed. I commented, "I am so glad they closed. That is an answer to prayer." We had a close acquaintance who was drawn into this lifestyle and it cost them their marriage. Katie Beth was shocked that I would be happy a place closed and questioned me. I explained that a lot of people gathered there to make bad choices together. Her response was "I wonder who God used to close it?" LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, her response!!!! Her follow up comment was "You know like Esther was born for such a time as this. We all have a purpose we were born for."

I have been pondering her comment for awhile. We ALL have a PURPOSE we were born for. What unique mission did God deposit in you while you were chatting in your mother's womb? What gifts and talents did He equip you with? What weaknesses require you to trust Him fully? Are you going to believe the truth of your soul or the truth of His spirit?

The world is waiting to see....Were you born for such a time as this?

Frost Bite

2010-03-10T10:41:00.001-08:00

On the first snow day of the year Katie Beth and her dog Curly had so much fun outside. They played and played and played.During all that playing there were several outfit changes.

The front door opened and I thought she was entering the house for another such change when I heard her crying."The kids started making fun of Curly and it hurt my heart." When she defended Curly a boy called her the s-word,stupid.

It took a good five minutes to get the tears turned off. We talked and she prayed for God to help her forgive the children and the boy. And then she shared. "Mom I understand what was happening satan tried to frost my heart so those parts would die but when I forgave God came in with a hair dryer and warmed them back up."

Lunch Buddy

2010-02-17T10:52:00.000-08:00

"Mom I ate lunch by myself at school today." Instantly I wondered what Katie Beth had done to keep her from the table with the other children. Children are seated by themselves for two reasons:Peanut allergy or as a consequence.

I ask "Why did you have to sit by yourself KB? " She answered that she had forgotten her money in the classroom and come into the lunch room after all the seats were taken. "Mom it was wonderful. There was peace and quiet and I could hear God clearly. It was perfect I wish I could sit with God everyday." I was amazed. About this time Brad chimed in "Katie Beth sometimes I spend my time with God as my lunch buddy." They talked back and forth about how great it was to have this precious time with the Lord.

Next I heard Brad give Katie Beth a warning. "Princess remember Satan tries to turn the good things of God into bad. Satan is going to tell you when you are alone with God that you do not have any friends and that because all have rejected you your only choice is to go to God. This is not true. It is a lie and you tell that rejection to leave you alone you are a precious child of God just like your mommy sings to you."

I have had a couple of weeks to ponder this. I eat lunch by myself most days. Sometimes God is my lunch buddy other times it is Facebook or twitter. Is this a virtual way I keep myself from feeling rejected and lonely?

Honestly the thing that humbles me most is both my husband and daughter seek out time with the Lord in the middle of the day and though I very easily could, I don't. Truth be told I get WAY more excited when Ginny calls and asks me to meet in Argyle for Mexican. Why do I get more excited about spending time with others than with HIM? And then there is the idol of Mexican food (wink) I am actually pondering giving it up for lent.

What If It's Not?

2010-01-14T20:31:00.000-08:00

One look at Katie Beth after school and I could see she'd been deflated. "Mom I had the most horrible day. I am a horrible writer. Writing is so hard and my teacher fussed at me. Oh mom what am I going to do because I will always have to write." Sob, sob, sob, SOB, SOB,SOB...she crumbles into my arms while tears flood her face.

I asked, "What if you're not? What if you are NOT a horrible writer?" Everything shifted with that one question.
"What happened exactly?"
"Well my teacher was grouchy and she fussed and then I thought I was a horrible writer."
Did she say you were a horrible writer? No.
Did you feel very upset and anxious? Yes.

Philippiansa4:6-7 "Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."

Did you know that is when the devil attacks? No.
Yup, he was watching and whispered in your ear that you are a horrible writer and then a part of your heart agreed with that and it started to define you. You started to believe you are a horrible writer.
Do you believe God is always with you? Yes You are right. He is and he will always tell you the truth. When you feel anxious and upset ask him to tell you the truth about the situation and ask him to help you. Katie Beth we need to ask God to forgive you for agreeing with this lie and we need to ask him to replace it with HIS truth about you. And we also need to forgive your teacher for being grouchy.

We pray about this and I can see that she gets it and the enemy has been defeated. A scripture I claimed for our family earlier in the week proved true. Proverbs 19:21 says "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."

Do you know why the devil attacked this part of your life? No.
He attacked this part of your life because this is actually something you are very good at and he knows God created you to write worship songs.
Mom how do you know this? God has used many people to pray for you and when they have prayed he has revealed to them that you have an annointing for worship. The devil sees this annointing and he hates when people worship God so he is trying to fight the annointing. Plus he is very jealous. Satan can not create and you can.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
And now I ask you.

What do you believe to be true about yourself that troubles you?

What if it's NOT?

When did it begin?

Have you asked God to reveal the truth?

Is there anything you need to ask forgiveness for?

Anyone you need to forgive?

My prayer is that you will "Receive and experience the amazing grace of the Master, Jesus Christ, deep, deep within yourselves." Philippians 4:23

Tis the Season to be Gentle

2009-12-05T05:38:00.000-08:00

There is a layer of frost on the ground this morning. It's chill might as well be wrapped around my heart. My friends are hurting. A LOT of my friends are hurting A LOT. It seems the slightest momentum of Christmas spirit is halted by upsetting news.

My current prayer list includes :
A friend whose teenage daughter ran away with her lover,
a friend whose fiance died of a heart attack 3 weeks after his proposal,
a friend who has walked away from his amazing wife and his baby boy,
two friends whose jobs are sucking the life out of them,
one friend who is seriously ready for him to put a ring on it,
another friend whose husband just lost his job,
and the teeth of divorce are gnawing on yet another friend.

Add to that those reeling from loved ones taken in death or caring for loved ones battling disease and the pain level is maxed out. I can honestly tell you my heart is ACHING for those I love during this season to be jolly.

Looking at my calendar I recognize how busy this season can be. And I realize if you have not been touched by the pain mentioned above that you may easily be unaware of unmet needs and ways to show compassion. Please pray that God will show you those who are hurting so you can extend his love and mercy to them. Who do you know that is dealing with a first? First Christmas in this town, first Christmas after the loss of a loved one, first Christmas after their divorce...Ask God for eyes to see what they need and daily cover them with prayer.

And ladies I would also ask that you be gentle with your husbands. In our attempt to plan a wonderful Christmas with parties, events, gifts, and to-do lists often I see husbands get chewed on. I would liken it to a road trip where the driver is so focused on the completion of the trip that the ambiance is an after thought and relationships go unnurtured. Please be gentle with your words and glances they can bring joy and celebration or reduce your beloved to feel like a child in the way.

I highly recommend starting each day asking for directions and trusting His planned pit stops as divine appointments. During this season consider all whose path you cross as a divine appointment. Take a moment to see if you are intended to bless them or if they will be the blessing to you. This approach allows the focus to be on blessing and all the other things will fall into place.

Psalm 67 God, mark us with grace and blessing! Smile! The whole country will see how you work, all the godless nations see how you save. God! Let people thank and enjoy you. Let all people thank and enjoy you. Earth, display your exuberance! You mark us with blessing, O God, our God.

Tethers in the Storm

2009-11-27T06:17:00.000-08:00

When Brad and I got engaged we asked a small group of close friends to pray for several weeks about our engagement and seek God's blessing on it. We both agreed we did not want to enter into marriage without HIS blessing. I realize this sounds a bit strange to some. I think it is best explained by our total trust in God. We had both seen God work powerfully in our lives and honestly trusted His ways over our own thinking. And sure that is code for "we had each MESSED our lives up trying to do things OUR way" before we met. When the day of blessing came there were precious words to confirm our union, scriptures given to anchor our marriage, and prayers to seal these words onto our hearts.

I continue to go back to my journal entry where these words and scriptures are recorded for strength on the days I know we, as a couple, are facing challenges. The next few days fall into that category. Tomorrow we will bury Brad's mom in Tennessee. I know it will be difficult but I also know that He has joined us together fully equipped for times like this. And I trust His peace will join us on this trip.

Last Easter when Katie Beth got baptized Brad's mom shared her favorite scripture "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1. As I hold the card she wrote this on I am reminded of all the ways and times of trouble HE has been MY refuge. These words have been framed and hung in Katie Beth's room as part of her Wall of Faith. I am thrilled that this truth holds such a rich spiritual heritage for our daughter.

My prayer is between the treasured words blessing our union to the wall of faith Katie Beth will come to understand the many tethers God has given her family to walk though the storms of life.

Live, Laugh, Love!

2009-11-20T14:05:00.000-08:00

When I think of joy I think of my daughter Katie Beth. She truly lives life to the fullest and often cracks me up. In the picture she is showing me her latest bike trick.

I have included some KB stories from this week. ENJOY!

The other night we were in Home Depot and she was riding on my back. The game was for me to try and buck her off. All of a sudden she states loudly "Mom you are one big mother bucker." I laughed so hard I cried. And of course others laughed too. She still has no idea why that was so funny.

Same day, moments later, still at Home Depot...Katie Beth climbs up on a wall and starts singing "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" while strutting her stuff. I was shocked! It was hilarious!!! So I ask the origin of the dance and coordinating moves. Alas Alvin and the Chipmunks have poisoned my daughter's mind. And she now understands why that song and dance is not a good choice.

Same day on the way home "Mom I know why Madison acts so bad. Her parents named her MAD I SIN. Isn't that horrible? " I had no words.

Harvest Moon

2009-11-11T07:57:00.000-08:00

One of my very favorite things to do up until the age of five was spent the night with my Aunt Opal in Paducah, Texas. Favorite memories include playing croquet with all the neighbors, catching horny toads, talking to truckers on the CB, dashing to the storm shelter to escape a passing tornado, and making the most scrumptious strawberry cake ever. My Aunt Opal deposited in me a love for life, a spirit of adventure, and shall we say a hefty portion of spunk. (Brad you can quit nodding your head.)

One weekend my parents drove from Lubbock to pick me up and noticed Opal didn't look right. They convinced her to come home with us. During the two hour trip my aunt had a heart attack in the front seat. My dad drove like a bat out of hell. By the grace of God we got a police escort to Methodist hospital. I remember pressing my face against the window and staring at the Harvest Moon on that terrifying drive. I only saw my Aunt Opal one more time before she died. Ever since then I have been uncomfortable under the Harvest Moon.

Several Sunday nights ago was another such moon. Our family spent the day at Lake Fork with my in-laws. All the preparations were shared regarding my mother-in-laws funeral. As I sat on the dock I had the thought, "What if the Harvest moon is when God harvests the souls of his beloved?" It was a comforting thought and I am not saying those who pass under other moons are somehow less than. I simply believe God allowed me to exchange the terror connected to a harvest moon for a peaceful thought.

The current situation is dire and our hearts are carrying much sadness. Her decline has been rapid and we know she will not be returning home to Lake Fork again. Her pain is great and we know her place in heaven is prepared.

Like

2009-11-08T21:40:00.000-08:00

I really like when you check the *like* button on my facebook status. And I adore your comments of affirmation on my wall. At times I wonder how I can please you. And there are moments that your opinions matter more to me than God's. Daily I battle between seeking man's affirmations and allowing God to tell me my worth.

Who among us does not value affirmation, connection, affection, or position as a way to validate your worth? Maybe you have even thought "When I am married I will be complete." Daily decisions to fill our God spaced hole with affirmations from man result is pews filled with masked Christians hiding messy sinful lives all the while trying to put on a good show. The official name given to these people both by the news media and the church is hypocrite. I might suggest another name. Captive. We all need God to save us from ourselves.

The following is a quote from the Pastor John at Gateway Church in Austin. He shares an amazing message that shook me to my core. Click on the quotes below to hear this message and learn how similar your struggle may be with those in same-sex relationships.

"We can not change each other. God's intention is a heart that desires better for us. He can do for us what we can not do for ourselves.

What if we could live out the tension between not condoning or condemning just loving our fellow believer toward the heart of God? This way God is the focus.

Only God can change a heart and He never does against our will. God rarely changes our outward struggles instead he gives us a new identity, total security, and inner spiritual strength. "

The Opposite of Evil is Truth

2009-11-04T22:03:00.000-08:00

I picked up the book Lies Women Believe a couple of years ago at Half Price Books. As I recall it seems like someone had recommended it to me. It sat on a shelf until 5 weeks ago when I found a group of ladies studying it and signed up. It has led me on a path I never imagined with an amazing group of ladies. My heart had lies throughout and I had no clue. Seriously HAD NO CLUE! The more I learned the more I began to see God's truth about me.

Week after week I have repeatedly gone to God and asked Him to reveal truth to me. He has been faithful to send me glimpses of how He views me and how He intends to use me. It has been both humbling and healing. Yesterday it felt as if He went to great lengths to tell me His truth about me. I had three completely unexpected interactions with friends who shared affirmations of specific gifts in me. As my head hit the pillow I was overwhelmed, in a good way.

God has a knack for swiftly sandwiching my spiritual experiences around a great piece of teaching. Yesterday I attended a transforming teaching by Bob Hamp on The Hidden Heart. I learned that the opposite of evil is actually truth. He taught that God simply desires for us to exhange what we know is a sin, a lie, or a defense mechanism for truth. And if we don't know what these things are? Ask God, He will reveal that too!

As he talked I imagined a child producing a dirty diaper and then telling their parent no thanks I can clean it up. The child just doesn't get it. The parent knows all the child has ingested, has an inclination of future production, and amazingly still remains in the picture.

In the same way I picture God as He watches all I ingest. His steadfast presence remains even though He already knows the trappings I call self preservation will yield a big smelly mess. He stays in the picture and offers to change me. And yet I say "No thanks, I'VE got this, no really I'LL just work harder and focus MY mind so I can change this. God you feel free to cheer for ME" Seems ridiculous BUT so familiar at the same time. I am so attached to my "natural production" it never occurs to me I was originally fashioned to NOT produce this. This product does not accomplish His purpose in me.

Bob continued to teach. As I listened I really liked the idea of going to God with my yuck (sin, lie, or self preservation)and trading it for His truth. I have to admit sometimes there is a slight hesitation as my hand opens to give "the well honed defense mechanism" in exchange for His best for me. But I am getting quicker!

The Letter

2009-11-03T13:34:00.000-08:00

"May I have some paper and a pen?" asked John Dawson to the man who would be his executioner. "I want to write my son a letter." In the novel Dawn we do not learn what was written in the letter. We are left with the question; What exactly does a man write to his son for the last time?

This part of the book triggered memories of a letter I wrote to Katie Beth the night before my exploratory surgery. The idea of her growing up without me unhurled pain the likes I had never known. I prayed and asked God to help me as I wrote. The words flew onto the page. I shared my hopes and dreams for her future, words of wisdom I hoped she would treasure, and my faith.

My surgery went great and the letter was never delivered. I however was changed through the process. I have reread the letter a number of times. Usually I seek it when my world has gone fuzzy and I need the clarity found best in that very scary moment. What was originally intended as a road map for my daughter has turned into a plan of action and purpose for me. I am a better person for heeding my own advice and aspiring to the hopes and dreams written on that page. I could never of imagined how much a letter written in fear could turn into such a phenomenal blessing.

And now I will ask you to consider writing your own letter. What would you say if you knew this would be your last communique? It is amazing what is produced when the heart is squeezed.

Totally Undone

2009-11-01T20:36:00.001-08:00

I found myself completely unprepared for a conversation at my front door tonight. Twenty four hours ago a mom on our block asked me to watch her seven year old daughter. Her husband had been out of work and now they needed to move out of their home and while she packed could her daughter stay with me. This turned into spending the night, watching her today, and a very bizarre conversation tonight.

In preparation to go trick-or-treating I asked both girls to shower and wash their hair. I could tell when I began to blow dry the little girl's hair she was not sure how to act. I asked if anyone had ever dried her hair before she said "No." For the last 7 years no one had ever taken time to blow her hair. This new knowledge sent a dart of sadness into my heart.

We went with trick-or-treating, to a fall festival, she spent the night, went with us to church, and the girls played all day. Periodically she would come to me give me a big hug and thank me for the things I would normally do for Katie Beth. She was so grateful.

At six o'clock her mom came to pick her up and she started crying. She did not want to leave. I was not expecting this reaction. Her mom's response was "I know you would rather live with Katie Beth." Again I was shocked. My neighbor then shares with me that her sister's seven month old is now legally theirs and would Brad & I like to adopt him. I am even more shocked. I promise to get her information for people who can help her put him up for adoption. And now the bombshell, she reveals that she is expecting again.

At this point you could have blown on me and I think I would have fallen over. My heart was just going nuts trying to process the hurting daughter, the unwanted seven month old, and the news that another child was being thrown in with her current four. I was totally undone. Brad came home to see them walking down the street and find his wife sobbing on the floor.

This whole thing does not add up for me Lord. Why do they get more kids while we are left with our desire for more children unmet? As you can imagine this started a flood of questions for God accompanied by overwhelming feelings. Brad held me as I cried and cried. Eventually he said, "Deana you are being flooded with thoughts. Where are these from. Remember today's sermon. " He was right. I was being attacked by a flood of thoughts that were stealing my joy and peace. I was letting circumstances and feelings undermine my trust in God.

We sat down to the table for dinner. I read tonight's study. The words were indeed timely.

Joy In November
These things have I spoken . . . that your Joy may be full.

The hallmark of a true follower of Mine is Joy.

Not a surface pleasure at life's happenings, a something that is reflected from without, but a welling up from within of that happiness that can only come from a heart at peace, secure in its friendship with Me.

Joy, strong and calm, attracts men to Me.

How many who claim Me Lord reflect a dull Christ, and wonder that the world turns rather to the glitter and tinsel of that world's pleasures.

Truly My followers deny Me in so doing. I am a Glorified Christ. A Christ of Triumphant Conquest.

Alas! My followers point too often to the grave-clothes of the tomb. Still learning to love and laugh.

I know to laugh and love even in the days with pain sounds a bit pollyanna. However, I had already gone to my Father for healing. By trusting him with my future peace and joy were restored and hope was planted.

Proverbs 24:14 Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul; if you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.

All Wrapped Up

2009-10-31T13:03:00.000-07:00

For Valentine's Day Katie Beth unwrapped an over sized, super soft, bright red towel from Brad. His gifts always have a special meaning so I waited for the full explanation. He explained to Katie Beth that when she is cold and alone he wants her to feel safe and warm all wrapped up in a big hug from him. It was a very sweet moment between a daddy and his little girl.

I think John Mayer song Daughters has a lot of truth in it regarding the relationship between a daddy and his daughter.

Lyrics to Daughters

I know a girl she puts the color inside of my world.
She's just like a maze, where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can to stand on the the steps, with my heart in my hands
Now I started to think maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers, who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too

Oh you see that skin, it's the same she's been standing in
Since the day, she saw him walking away
Now she's left cleaning up the mess he made

On behalf of every man looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of the world

The great news is that wherever your earthly father leaves off your heavenly father delights in picking up. You are precious and honored in my sight, and....I love you" (Isaiah 43:4) If life leaves you feeling cold and abandoned picture yourself wrapped in a bright red, super soft, huge towel of love.

I pray you always know your worth, feel his warmth and treasure his relationship.

Vitamins

2009-10-30T11:15:00.001-07:00

Everywhere you turn experts are sharing the best vitamin combinations to keep you from feeling sluggish and safeguard you from getting ill. The busy calendar of Autumn seems to produce weariness followed by a hefty portion of exhaustion. I have my family on a vitamin regimen to protect us from the dreaded viruses and germs bouncing about at school and church.

Spiritual exhaustion and weariness can leave us vulnerable as well. I would ask you to consider a spiritual supplement regimen especially if you are highly involved in your local church. Some of the best advice I ever got while in full time ministry was to stay well fed. In fact the statement was followed by the suggestion to regularly visit another local church for the sole purpose of nourishment. At this point in history we are blessed with superb resources online. Sermons from great ministers are a simple click away.

It is my belief that a healthy spiritual regimen includes
: a faith community with intimate authentic "bear one another's burdens" relationships.
: a church leadership that values your talents and provides opportunities for you to use them.
: teachings that bolster your faith.

And I would suggest if you desire more than what is offered you give yourself permission to supplement your feeding so you can edify the body you are in.

A church you can call home is precious so jump start that sluggish spirit and safeguard you heart and your whole faith community will be blessed!

Where do you go for spiritual supplements?

Good Grief

2009-10-29T11:37:00.000-07:00

Sunday night I put the mix into the bread machine and anticipated a wonderful smelling loaf the next morning. Sadly this was not meant to be. As you can see in the picture something went terribly wrong. Up pops the ugly head of disappointment. I have a difficult time with disappointment.

Disappointment in childhood

If it is Thursday there is a high probability that Katie Beth will have a meltdown as we drive home from school. She has done this since she was 18 months old. It starts with a whiney voice and is followed by the list of all the things that have gone wrong in her world. It always ends with the phrase “And mom (sob) my heart is (sob) just so broken (SOB, SOB, SOB).” Between you and me this list can be pretty funny because horribly wrong to an eight year old is just nothing compared to horribly wrong to this forty year old. I usually pull over and join her in the back seat. She crawls in my lap and I hold her. Sometimes she is still stuck in her meltdown even after she has shared her pain. When this occurs I encourage her to cry. Let’s face it sometimes you need a good cry. Once the tears have dried we pray for God to heal her heart. From that point on all is well and her joy returns. Through this process my daughter has learned to grieve her disappointments.

During her meltdown I never feel as if my authority has been challenged. I do not wish she would go away and get it together before we can talk logically. I don’t wish she had a more positive attitude. I do not think “Man I wish she was more mature.” Instead I understand that this is part of bearing one another’s burdens. She is coming to me because she understands how much I love her. And I am honored she allows me to carry her heart before the Father’s throne.

Disappointment as a mature Christian

I think as a Christian I was unsure if I was actually allowed to be disappointed when things went wrong. In an effort to be a mature Christian I developed a pattern of burying my disappointment and moving forward with a tomorrow will be better attitude. Eventually my heart became scarred and trusting God became harder. I noticed that I had less patience and angered more quickly. This anger would come out unexpectedly. Oh my, passive aggressive is not pretty. I began operating out of my head which is a lousy way to reflect God’s love. As a Christian if I cannot offer my fellow man hope for their disappointed hearts then really what is it I am offering them? Seriously they would be better off with a good self-help book.

All of that to say I heard an amazing CD this week that touched on God’s ability to take our emotional vomit and turn it into jewels. I like the sound of that and so I have given myself permission to have meltdowns with God as needed. I believe he will listen to my list of all that has gone wrong in my world, hold me as I grieve, catch all my tears, and heal my heart too. And that is something worth sharing with my fellow man.

That Thing You Do

2009-10-26T13:37:00.000-07:00

Couples, families for that matter have their own inside jokes that are uniquely funny to them. Last weekend I was out of town and returned home to discover a dinosaur in my make-up drawer. I smiled because for the last eleven years a dinosaur has shown up out of no where when I least expect it. It has been on the coffee mugs, by the dog food, in the shower, in the fridge, on the stack of books I am reading and so on. Equally funny is that fact that this dinosaur has never been spoken of. It simple floats from destination to destination with an understood I LOVE YOU attached. And so with each placement the game continues. Ridiculous probably, but precious in ways I can only explain as the unique ambiance of my marriage, absolutely.

I was reminded a few days ago of how quickly things can change and the one you LOVE can become the one you LOVED. This video prompted my post. If you are like me it will make you want to take a minute and say thank you to the ones you love for simply doing that thing they do.

Very Random Observations : Great Wolf Lodge

2009-10-25T09:32:00.000-07:00

1. Parents pack your JUST SAY NO t-shirt. The marketing is brilliant. The girls went trick or treating through EVERY store.

2. Story hour by the big tree in the lobby is wonderful. Keep in mind it is usually the children who wear their jammies to it, NOT the adults.

3. Sleep is important. You never know what might happen so bring some type of pill to knock you out and ear plugs in case the people you are staying with want to listen to a marching band as you fall asleep. If all of this goes wrong and you awaken exhausted then remember level 2 has a Starbucks.

4. Ask if the people you are staying with have any allergies. If you don't the fragrance in your product might accidentally put one of them in anaphylactic shock. It's all good. Analisa's mom gave Analisa's grandma her shot that stops the LETHAL allergic reaction.

5. When on the tour and they say "The Great Wolf Lodge is green. What does green mean?" Don't be like the cute little boy and say "Rich cuz everything is so expensive here."

6. Each year a wolf sheds their coat. The new coat grows back in white and then turns to gray. Perspective: A few gray hairs a year are nothing.

7. It is wise to have more adults than children for this adventure. We had a three adult to two girl ratio which worked well. (I am available if you need an extra adult.)

8. Regarding grooming, if you shave your legs before entering the wave pool the amount you shaved off will grow back three fold due to the temp of the water.

9. When in the wave pool do not talk smack to the OU fan unless you are OK with being dunked.(The wound is still too fresh.)

10. No matter how cat like you think your reflexes do not attempt to jump from one tube to the next mid wave. It really hurts.

12. The tubes are clear and tend to magnify every one's assets so plan your wardrobe accordingly lest you appear cheeky. I think the new leggings trend has some practical application here. You go ahead and try it and let me know how it works.

11. All pedicures will become distressed in the lazy river especially if you are doing resistance training and walking against the flow. The Life Guards frown upon those participating in flow fitness and even blow their whistle and point at them.

12. There is a special place in hell for the children on the bridge who see an exhausted mommy floating peacefully down the lazy river and throw a pail of freezing ice water on her.(Give me a couple of days and I feel certain I will be able to forgive them.)

13. When standing in line for the attractions do not start talking about your recent diet. No one, especially me, wants to talk diet while they are dripping wet in their swimsuit. I realize I should of just been gracious and said well you know Jesus thinks you look great and loves you just the way you are but truthfully I could not get past the JUST SHOOT ME NOW!!! statement looping in my head.

14. Great companies have servant leaders: I was making an origami wolf and ended up clicking with THE EVENT PLANNER for Great Wolf Lodge. She was also the origami instructor for Kid's Club. I am hoping we can do some chocolate fountain business in the future!

15. Speedos are never a good idea.

16. Teen girl's swimsuits are teeny tiny. I was so grateful when KB said "Mom did you see that? They are trying to be sexy and think they are "all that." Oh they will get attention from boys but not the good boys." I told her she was right and that I thought she was very wise for noticing that. Her reply was "Mom don't you and dad talk? He taught me this." (GO BRAD!!)

17. I like having warm towels provided for me.

18. Signs like this trigger something deep within me. I have come a long way since living in Nelson my freshman year.

Legacy: What is yours going to be? And who has sown into your destiny?

2009-10-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

What is yours going to be?

About five years ago Brad went on his usual Saturday morning hunt for arrow heads. He was gone the usual amount of time. But he returned to me a bit unusual. He had found all sorts of treasure in a mound. He showed me the pottery, the arrow heads, the fossils and then he shared.“This was someone’s treasure. This was special to someone and now it is off in a pile where no one even cares for it or about it. See this someone took a long time to make it and now it is smashed and in pieces. ” Then his tone changed. “Deana every day I work so I can provide for my family. I am buying us things that will someday be in a pile somewhere and simply left behind. My treasure will just be trash.”

I would have to say this was a defining moment for our family. It led to a study as a family of the things that mattered, our legacy. How would we, the Herds, make a difference and what would our legacy be? We read through the book Twelve Pillars by Chris Widener and Jim Rohn. We talked about the values we wanted to pass down through our daughter. And we planned how we wanted to use our influence.

One of our main values is sowing. We decided to be strategic in sowing our time, talent, and treasure. For us sewing is joining God in accomplishing what he has planned and understanding that the reward is the change the process of obedience brings in us. When one sows one may or may not see any fruit in their lifetime. We trust fruit is being grown although we fully realize it may always be unknown to us.

And who has sown into your destiny?

This year we have been enjoying the fruit of seeds planted by others. We live in a home that has scripture written throughout on the drywall. Seed planted by Debbie Root. We had amazing curriculum and resources last year at FWC. Seeds planted when the school was founded 50 years ago. We have been blessed by the discipleship of Gateway Church. Seeds planted by Bob Hamp,Robert Morris,and Alan Smith.

And I cannot forget the legacy of my parents and grandparents. As a third generation Christian I am reaping amazing faith whose seeds were planted and covered in prayer for decades. In fact I believe the connection I have with children can be traced in my spiritual DNA to my father’s mother. I never even met her but her faith seeds have blossomed in my life and that of my daughter.

If you are like me then thinking of how you have been blessed generates a feeling of wanting to give back. I truly hope reading this prompts you to think about your legacy and the hope your choices bring to the future destiny of others. I'd like to leave you with Nichole Nordeman's song LEGACY. I love this song!

On Friendship

2009-10-22T20:25:00.000-07:00

The summer between 3rd & 4th grade our family moved from Lubbock, Texas to Richland Hills,Texas. This was a devastating blow to my security. I was crushed and clearly struggling when my dad took me to Braum's for a conversation about friendship.

His first recommendation was to "Be the friend you are seeking in others." He believed if you concentrated on extending friendship to others in a kind and gracious manner you will always have an abundance of friends.

He also shared that I should become know as the person where the gossip stops. He said that it would always be spoken to me but I alone had the choice on how to use my influence. And he described the person who mixed gossip with their influence as one who walks around with gum on the bottom of their shoe. By that he meant something originally thought a tasty morsel becomes both annoying and embarrassing due to it's connection to you.

And he taught me how to listen for people's story and validate it. He said that if you look someone in the eye with compassion their story will come tumbling out. He suggested to me that it is indeed an honor to carry the joy or pain of that person's story. He said if the person continues to share the same story over and over then their pain is so great that they did not hear your heartfelt acknowledgement for their agony the first time. And so you continue again and again to be God's love reaching into their life until they CAN receive it.

He also suggested that I pray daily to see people as God sees them and from that insight choose to use my words to encourage others. He shared that we all carry around a list of "should ofs" that beats us up and that you never know the power your words will have to quiet the "should ofs" and release the "created fors" in someone.

I would have to say his suggestions have served me well and were so easily absorbed into my life because they were exhibited so clearly in his.

Clever Characters

2009-10-21T20:39:00.000-07:00

When I created this blog I picked the name CLEVER CHARACTERS because both words and life are made up of characters that have left me changed, usually in a good way. I am hoping to update more often and share with you the world as seen by me.

NEW JOB:
I am loving it!!!! I have clients from Laos, Vietnam, Mexico, Honduras and even Chicago. Those from foreign countries have incredible stories of immigration. I am learning about their cultures and their heritage and hopefully helping shape their legacy.

The other half of my class are Americans who have caught some rough breaks and are now seeking life skills and strategies to pass the GED. Some are trapped in the pain of their past and do not trust me to help them walk into their future. It is easier for them to goof off and know they will fail than it is to actually make the first attempt toward success.

KATIE BETH:
I am thrilled to share that KB is thriving in her new school. I have seen a marked difference in her confidence. This improved self esteem has allowed her to blossom in her art and riding. I am looking forward to her next horse show in a few weeks.

BRAD:
Brad has a tooth ache which apparently causes the volume of his snoring to increase by one hundred fold. (-:

Brad made the observation last night that you should not transform a gym into an auditorium for the PTA program until you can make the smell of gym socks go away. PTA moms out there take note: hot dog and gym sock ambiance is a BAD combo.

FRIENDS & FAMILY:
I know a lot of folks walking through a very hard time right now. Here is a favorite verse I have been sharing."I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you" Ezekiel 36:26 This video is a song I find very encouraging too. Love these words!!!

And remember...It's never too late to be who you want to be.

How Long?

2009-10-18T21:42:00.000-07:00

Monday I begin a new job teaching adults strategies for succeeding in life and passing the GED. I will have the pleasure of working with each student 6 months at a time. I am thrilled to work with these individuals as they transition from their current circumstances toward the life they want. As an added bonus my hours are within the time frame of Katie Beth’s schooling and I have Fridays off to pursue my other passions.

Goals for First Grade by Katie Beth

2009-08-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

Tonight I sat with Katie Beth to make goals for the next school year. I started to explain what a goal is and she stopped me. “Mom I know what a goal is here is my list:
For School:
Be on time.
Good Behavior
Have fun
Learn more each day
No Subway for lunch
Mom be on time to pick her up
Do her homework

For family:
Family night with spaghetti tacos or Pizza and then watch a movie
Visit Grandma Jo & Grandpa Richard (they need her since Grandma is so sick)

For Recreation:
To trot on the horse the whole way around the circle.”

I then asked her what she wanted me to pray about for the school year. Here is her list:
“Pray about who I am supposed to be and then for me to be myself. And not to be afraid.”

As a mom I am pretty proud. My favorite is that she wants God to show her who she is and then for her to be it.

Conscientious Objecter

2009-03-26T21:38:00.000-07:00

Wednesday the Christian author Robert Elmer visited Fort Worth Christian. He taught the students that God gives us experiences so we can tell our stories. He stated what a huge difference it would make if every christian wrote about their story so others could learn what Jesus actually does in our lives. I thought about what he said and felt prompted to share my story. Please feel free to send any complaints to him.

As I see it when something does not make sense, well, you have to object to it, right? I know I regularly walk around with objections in my head.

For example I heard a great sermon last Sunday. I nodded in agreement as the minister spoke of the assurance Christians have and how we should not live under crushing fear because we know God will take care of us even in this economy. Two days later I learned that Brad needs Obama to approve money for the Air Force to have the funding needed for the F-22s they want to buy from Lockheed. Simply stated no money from Obama means Brad and half his department will be unemployed. Right then I become a conscientious objector. I ignored the minister's assurance and let worry creep into my left shoulder blade and neck. I then begin to ask questions to Brad but became even more concerned with every answer. I completely objected to the request to not worry and fret about this situation. I am supposed to just let this go. That doesn't seem very responsible? The scripture "Have no anxiety about anything with prayer and supplication let your request be made known to God" popped into my head. My request? Excuse me, my request was submitted in November and it was not Obama. Lord I am not sure I trust you with my request.

I am a Christian I know God will take care of my needs but....how do I restore my soul? How do I know I won't find God's version of meeting my needs disappointing? In my head I am screaming God why oh why did you give this man a voice in the employment of my husband?! At this point I am no longer making the calm face. I have moved to the focused let's make a plan stage. But the plans I tried to make seemed far fetched and brought little peace. The scripture "Lean not on your own understanding" rang loudly through my ears. Seriously Lord that's your message of hope. Inwardly I rolled my eyes and then distracted myself with tasks for the rest of the evening.

What makes my reaction to this situation so pathetic is merely a week ago God removed a lump from my breast. I mean one morning it was there and I was freaking out buying life insurance and that same afternoon 2 doctors could not find it. Praise the Lord! I was healed. God met my need. Please do not ask me why I believe God can do plastic surgery but can not handle the economy because I have no answer. I can completely relate to the Israelites being so personally led by God and so utterly faithless.

In my quiet time this morning this jumped out at me "So leave your foolish fears, and follow Me, your Guide, and determinedly refuse to consider the problems of tomorrow. My message to you is, trust, and wait. "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye." - Psalm 32:8"

Then on the way to school Katie Beth shared what Jesus told her after she said her prayer. He told her that he put a light in her heart to shine forever no matter what. I was taken aback by the NO MATTER WHAT part of his message. I had no story and my light was dim.

As if that wasn't enough to chew on tonight I heard a teaching on John chapter nine about the pharisees objecting to Jesus healing the blind man. Apparently viewing the situation through their personal filter of politics, restrictive religion,fears, and emotions the pharisees became blind to the origin of the marvelous healing. Someone should really ponder that and apply it to their lives. Oh hello mirror.

Given all these messages I have decided a few things.
First, for the time being my mind may only venture 30 minutes ahead. Farther than that and the blindness and worry start to show up.
Second, I am going to become a conscientious objector to my conscientious objections.
Third, I will write more stories to share His light within me.

Herd Family Update Summer 2008

2008-07-22T00:40:00.000-07:00

Hello,

I thought I would briefly update you on our life.

Brad still commutes 80 miles a day to work at LOCKHEED MARTIN. He was recently on 30 days. Our neighbor Matt is in this episode. He invited Brad to go shooting. They took Brad's M-16 to the gun range. You will see Brad's hat, gun and back as he is walking. The way I see it I am married to a tv star. ( :

In March of 2008 I began teaching First Grade at the Life School Campus in Oak Cliff. I consider myself a pedia life coach. I moved my adult Life Coaching clients to the evening. It is a nice mix.

Our daughter had a great year in Kindergarten. Here are some samples of her artwork. She gets this talent from her father. As well as her love of riding horses. This summer she has taken swim lessons too.

I finally became an Aunt on my side of the family. My brother Joel and his wife Becky had a baby boy Tyler Ray Fulenwider. And so the Fulenwider name lives on.

And we purchased a chocolate fountain rental business called Chocolate Finale. As an added bonus we have discovered how great it feels to have people approach you with a huge smile all evening long.

I think that covers it all.

Love & Blessings,
Deana

Helpful Phrases

2008-07-19T23:40:00.000-07:00

I have 2 phrases that I find very useful in a multitude of circumstances. The first phrase is said with an inquisitive tone. "Why do you ask?' My daughter who was five at the time starting asking this last fall . I find this insight baffling. Somehow she had discovered that the reason one has for asking the question may influence the way you need to answer the question. I have added this phrase to my responses which has resulted in my being better equipped to answer my friends' , clients' and family's questions.

The second phrase is "We'll see." I use it all the time because it commits me to nothing while leaving the person on the other end of the conversation content. I then have time to think about what I want to do and revisit the item. This phrase was obtained while under the influence of the Batten family.

So you had a bad day.

2008-07-19T21:41:00.000-07:00

Today has been a rough day for lots of reasons that I will not bother to list for you. It made my top 4 worst days ever. As I drove to an appointment this morning the following song came on. Dare you to move. God has used it repeatedly to move me. Hope it inspires you too.

See what the Marketing Twins did to my website!

2008-07-17T00:22:00.000-07:00

Brad and I have a new business called Chocolate Finale. We went to Randy & Donny Vaughn to coach us through our marketing. Just look at what they did!

The Mother Load

2008-07-15T00:22:00.000-07:00

For the third time in three weeks an ambulance showed up at my neighbor's home across the street. The other two times my neighbor was mysteriously taken to the hospital. But Sunday night the EMT called the police. It seems the woman was having a nervous breakdown and was very paranoid. The police made it clear she could go with or without handcuffs. All of her children were there watching. From my backyard I could hear my neighbor in her home screaming. It was a horrible sound.

In an instant the screams of my neighbor took me back to the screams of my childhood. With amazing clarity I recalled Jon Jones arriving very early one morning at my home. Then the police came with a court order to put my mom in the mental hospital. She physically resisted and eventually I saw my mom handcuffed and taken away screaming. I remember how scared she looked. I knew I needed to take care of Jeana, Joel, and Jana. I hoped this time would be different and my mommy would come home fixed. For just a few moments this last Sunday night I became that young girl watching her mother taken away in handcuffs while her daddy wept and keep asking all of us if he had done the right thing.

Snap! Katie Beth walked into the backyard and asked me a question. I stopped being that scared little girl and became her mom. I breathed a deep sigh of relief. Then I began praying silently. I am so thankful for God's faithfulness in my life. So many of the plans the enemy had for my family have been defeated. In the last 6 years he has restored my mother's mental health. This has allowed us to have a warm loving relationship. God has revealed her true nature by allowing me to watch her tenderly interact with her grandaughter. She has spoken words of blessing to replace the lies the enemy spoke though her. And this early experience taught me to depend on Him alone. He has and is and will sustain me.

From Vanilla to Chai Latte

2008-07-07T20:56:00.000-07:00

For the majority of my life my closest friendships were white upper middle class conservative christians. This homogeneous environment was mainly due to the school and the church I attended. It was not a conscience thing by myself or my family.

In contrast my closest friendships today are spicy. My friends hail from Canada, Estonia, Africa, and Boston. Our common thread is the preschool we selected to put our children in. Through playdates, class parties, and fundraisers we have grown closer. Three years later we are closer than ever even though none of our children attend the same school. Three of the four moms are strong Christians and have their own ministries separate from their home congregation. (What a novel concept.) One is completely disconnected from any church. All are remarkable blessings. I have been stretched in faith, spices and parenting as our friendships have grown. I would like to take a minute to share a bit about each of them.

Roman's mom- Elizabeth blows me away. When I met Roman she explained to me that he was born with a condition called sensory integration disorder. I have never seen a mom work to hard and so consistently with their child. Under her care Roman went from severely challenged to fully mainstream in a regular classroom. This is made even more remarkable by the recent conclusion that Roman began life not as sensory but as autistic. His mom is writing her second book telling their story. Did I mention she has already authored a children's book too? Besides all that her family operates the Ron Burton Training Village for at risk boys from around the country. Each summer Elizabeth preps the boys for college placement exams and teaches Bible. I strongly urge you to visit their website and see the remarkable difference this family is making one boy at a time. (view Ron Burton Training Village) Organizations like the Boston Red Sox & the West Point Academy support this life changing experience.

Phoebe's mom is Nikki. She and her husband are childhood sweethearts from Nigeria. They married moved to London for schooling and eventually moved to the states. Nikki homeschools Phoebe (six) while tending to her 2 daughters both under 2. On weekends she runs the ICU ward as the supervising nurse for the local hospital. She and her husband have a ministry to young couples. These couples come over once a month for a meal and have a "get real" conversation on marriage. Each Saturday morning the couples gather by conference call for prayer. I have seen this ministry save marriages the enemy had set apart to destroy. I am blessed to have such a wise friend who is a powerful prayer warrior.

Jillian, Tatum's mom, is from Canada. She has compared herself to Dharma of Dharma & Greg. This fall she is homeschooling all 3 of her kids (12, 7, & 4.) She is a great cook and hostess. We love to eat at her house. She is also a great decorator. I think she may be my youngest closest friend but she is wise beyond her years. She openly shares struggles from her teens. I see her as a shining light of God's mercy and grace for anyone whose sin seems to show up in the spotlight. She and her husband support a ministry in Oklahoma. They pray regularly about divine appointments to share the message of true freedom in Christ. Many of our divine discussions include a glass of wine. I have come to cherish these moments.

Margarita's mom is from Estonia. Beatrice came to America for work and stayed for her husband. She is an amazing cook too. She actually translates recipes to English for me and then teaches me how to make them in her kitchen. She and her husband have their own business plus she audits bank branches for major bank. She loves details. And yet she is also a people person. She is very kind, gracious, and loving. She seems to sense when I need something before I ever ask and she just calls at the perfect moment. She is the most athletic of all my friends. She was an Olympic swimmer in Estonia. And now she is training for boxing matches.

On a regular basis I thank God for the way He has spiced up my life.

Teachable Moments From WALL-E

2008-07-07T20:19:00.000-07:00

When Katie Beth and I see a movie I look for life lessons that the movie can reinforce. I am listing the ones I "saw" in WALL-E. (click to see preview)

1. One seed can save the world. (Jesus)

2. A good friend ignores your feelings and keeps you on course (directive.)

3. Own your mess. As my mom always said "If you make a mess then you clean it up."

4. Own your life. Quit giving others permission to define you.

5. If you are lonely than reach out. Stop floating down the conveyor belt and connect.

6. You can watch what others are doing and call it living or you can participate and feel alive.

Great Quotes from Great American Leaders

2008-07-04T09:37:00.000-07:00

Benjamin Franklin"

Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both."

"Words may show a man's wit but actions his meaning."

"Take time for all things: great haste makes great waste."

"Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today."

"Well done is better than well said."

Thomas Jefferson

"The will of the people is the only legitimate foundation of any government, and to protect its free expression should be our first objective."

"The boisterous sea of liberty is never without a wave."

"It is neither wealth nor splendor, but tranquility and occupation which give happiness."

"Whenever you do a thing, act as if all the world were watching."

"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on."

Throughout history the words of great leaders have inspired, comforted, persuaded, and motivated us. As we prepare to celebrate the 232nd anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, two of my favorite historic figures come to mind: Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson.

Ben Franklin was an entrepreneur, an inventor, an author, a statesman, but most of all, he was one of the fathers of our country. In many ways, he was the "glue" that held the American Revolution together. Thomas Jefferson was our country's first secretary of state and third president. He is also best remembered as the principal author of the Declaration of Independence. Both Franklin and Jefferson were known for their ability to communicate in a very engaging way. They truly understood the art of bringing ideas to life with words.

Above are just a few favorite quotes from these two great men featured in Peggy Anderson's beautiful coffee table gift book...Great Quotes from Great Leaders. The book also features inspiring words from many Americans and world figures known for their commitment to the principles of freedom, including George Washington, Martin Luther King Jr., Winston Churchill, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, and Mahatma Gandi. Use this link to watch a four-minute movie that will give you a sneak peek at the collection of wisdom offered in the book – www.TheGreatQuotesMovie.com/

Happy Independence Day!

Kyle Wilson

PresidentYourSuccessStore.com

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I highly recommend the Success Store. They have great resources as well as fabulous Sucess Symposiums. Plus I am a huge fan of Jim Rohn. I have signed up to get his newsletter and always enjoy it. ~Deana

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Organic Versus Brand

2008-06-20T13:18:00.000-07:00

In my minister’s recent e-mail he mentions his tremendous relief when his wife found an organic pizza. Seems they have gone totally organic. So I probably won't be inviting them over for dinner any time soon.

What exactly is organic? The National Organic Standards Board Definition of "Organic" The following definition of "organic" was passed by the NOSB at its April 1995 meeting in Orlando, FL."Organic agriculture is an ecological production management system that promotes and enhances biodiversity, biological cycles and soil biological activity. It is based on minimal use of off-farm inputs and on management practices that restore, maintain and enhance ecological harmony. Organic agriculture practices cannot ensure that products are completely free of residues; however, methods are used to minimize pollution from air, soil and water. Organic food handlers, processors and retailers adhere to standards that maintain the integrity of organic agricultural products. The primary goal of organic agriculture is to optimize the health and productivity of interdependent communities of soil life, plants, animals, and people."

That last sentence in the definition intrigues me. “Optimize health of interdependent communities…” I guess my going organic is about more than just me.

We as a family are by no means fully organic. We do get all our meat, fruits and veggies at our neighborhoods version of Whole Foods. It is all organic. My father-in-law grows a garden each year which provides many wonderful jars of canned juices, fruits, veggies, and sauces that are all organic. Truth is my taste gets in the way of this whole organic thing. I have yet to find an organic version of Doritos that meets our family’s standard. And dare I ask the culinary geniuses at Taco Bueno if they use organic materials?

Truth be told there are just some things I am not willing to sacrifice on my quest to be organic. I can hardly imagine a scenario that would make me willing to give up all the non-organic things of my life. I know, I know, I am simply selfish and stubborn. You are correct. I have acquired a taste for junk (Ben & Jerry’s) and find it difficult to protect my health despite the consequences I know my body will incur. On a regular basis I have made the decision to indulge and then compensate through exercise and portion control. While this decision seems balanced I have found that my cravings are stronger which means my workouts are longer.

Don’t know about you but I just have these cravings and it is very rarely for organic cucumber in an organic version of Ranch. I wish the only area I struggled with selfish cravings was in going organic. On a regular basis I ignore my conscience and eat junk food for my spirit. I have watched shows where I am secretly pulling for the couple that is having an affair. I act like exercise (bible study or church) and portion control (this show doesn’t have that many cuss words) keep me from increasing my cravings. I am most convicted when my daughter walks in and I ask her to leave the room. She will ask why and I say this is not good food for your mind. Of course she turns right around and asks then why are you watching it mommy? Good question I respond.

Why do I watch these shows? After much wrestling and prayerful consideration the answer is I like them. Sometimes it is a bit rebellious. I watch because I can. Sometimes it is peer pressure. I want to talk to my friends about the “brand” TV show we have all viewed. Or other times a part of me is stimulated by the scenarios or entertained by the wit of a racy show. And sometimes I just need to escape to a hilarious show that has off-color humor. You see I have developed quite a diverse palette now that I am all grown up and oh so mature.

I cannot tell you how much brand food or brand TV is too much for your balanced life but I can tell you the standard we have been called to as Christians is purity.

I was already being convicted of my entertainment viewing when I visited a church with my sister. The minister mentioned the number one show in the nation that weekend was Sex and the City. I thought oh great I liked that movie. Why does he have to bring that up in church? He mentioned that men have been messing up the purity thing for years but now it has hit an all time high with women. On FOX news he learned the exact number of partners each character had sex with over the series. IT WAS A LOT. I wondered who the fact checker was for that story. I digress. Then he mentioned how many tweens watch the TV version and have learned the road to true love has multiple sex partners. It is simply part of the journey.

I was trying to figure out how I had gotten to this unguarded place spiritually and reconcile how I was still able to minister powerfully to others. About this time the minister closed by saying purity is something to strive for. It can be accomplished through the work of the Spirit and a decision of obedience. I felt myself relax. I can do this with the help of the Spirit. He can help me grow in goodness and self-control. And I am pretty sure that He was the reason I could minister to others even in my compromised state.

That last sentence in the definition above still intrigues me. “Optimize health of interdependent communities…” I guess my being pure is about more than just me

Clever Characters

Lowest Common Denominator

A Flicker

Hail Damage

"I think we can all learn a thing or two from KB," my sister Jana.

Observations of the Circus

Friendly Fire

Here's A Quarter

Where I am from.......310, 512, 915, 903, 214, 917, 815

Getting what I deserve

Mother's Day: Can I please get a do over?

Why wouldn't you believe you can make a difference in the world?

Something Borrowed for Someone Blue

List is a Four Letter Word

Tick, tick, tick...

Frost Bite

Lunch Buddy

What If It's Not?

Tis the Season to be Gentle

Tethers in the Storm

Live, Laugh, Love!

Harvest Moon

*Like*

The Opposite of Evil is Truth

The Letter

Totally Undone

All Wrapped Up

Vitamins

Good Grief

That Thing You Do

Very Random Observations : Great Wolf Lodge

Legacy: What is yours going to be? And who has sown into your destiny?

On Friendship

Clever Characters

How Long?

Goals for First Grade by Katie Beth

Conscientious Objecter

Herd Family Update Summer 2008

Helpful Phrases

So you had a bad day.

See what the Marketing Twins did to my website!

The Mother Load

From Vanilla to Chai Latte

Teachable Moments From WALL-E

Great Quotes from Great American Leaders

Organic Versus Brand

Like