Clever Characters

There is a layer of frost on the ground this morning. It's chill might as well be wrapped around my heart. My friends are hurting. A LOT of my friends are hurting A LOT. It seems the slightest momentum of Christmas spirit is halted by upsetting news. My current prayer list includes : A friend whose teenage daughter ran away with her lover, a friend whose fiance died of a heart attack 3 weeks after his proposal, a friend who has walked away from his amazing wife and his baby boy, two friends whose jobs are sucking the life out of them, one friend who is seriously ready for him to put a ring on it, another friend whose husband just lost his job, and the teeth of divorce are gnawing on yet another friend. Add to that those reeling from loved ones taken in death or caring for loved ones battling disease and the pain level is maxed out. I can honestly tell you my heart is ACHING for those I love during this season to be jolly. Looking at my calendar I recognize how busy this season can

When Brad and I got engaged we asked a small group of close friends to pray for several weeks about our engagement and seek God's blessing on it. We both agreed we did not want to enter into marriage without HIS blessing. I realize this sounds a bit strange to some. I think it is best explained by our total trust in God. We had both seen God work powerfully in our lives and honestly trusted His ways over our own thinking. And sure that is code for "we had each MESSED our lives up trying to do things OUR way" before we met. When the day of blessing came there were precious words to confirm our union, scriptures given to anchor our marriage, and prayers to seal these words onto our hearts. I continue to go back to my journal entry where these words and scriptures are recorded for strength on the days I know we, as a couple, are facing challenges. The next few days fall into that category. Tomorrow we will bury Brad's mom in Tennessee. I know it will be difficult but I a

When I think of joy I think of my daughter Katie Beth. She truly lives life to the fullest and often cracks me up. In the picture she is showing me her latest bike trick. I have included some KB stories from this week. ENJOY! The other night we were in Home Depot and she was riding on my back. The game was for me to try and buck her off. All of a sudden she states loudly "Mom you are one big mother bucker." I laughed so hard I cried. And of course others laughed too. She still has no idea why that was so funny. Same day, moments later, still at Home Depot...Katie Beth climbs up on a wall and starts singing "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" while strutting her stuff. I was shocked! It was hilarious!!! So I ask the origin of the dance and coordinating moves. Alas Alvin and the Chipmunks have poisoned my daughter's mind. And she now understands why that song and dance is not a good choice. Same day on the way home "Mom I know why Madison a

One of my very favorite things to do up until the age of five was spent the night with my Aunt Opal in Paducah, Texas. Favorite memories include playing croquet with all the neighbors, catching horny toads , talking to truckers on the CB, dashing to the storm shelter to escape a passing tornado, and making the most scrumptious strawberry cake ever. My Aunt Opal deposited in me a love for life, a spirit of adventure, and shall we say a hefty portion of spunk. (Brad you can quit nodding your head.) One weekend my parents drove from Lubbock to pick me up and noticed Opal didn't look right. They convinced her to come home with us. During the two hour trip my aunt had a heart attack in the front seat. My dad drove like a bat out of hell. By the grace of God we got a police escort to Methodist hospital. I remember pressing my face against the window and staring at the Harvest Moon on that terrifying drive. I only saw my Aunt Opal one more time before she died. Ever since then I have been

I really like when you check the *like* button on my facebook status. And I adore your comments of affirmation on my wall. At times I wonder how I can please you. And there are moments that your opinions matter more to me than God's. Daily I battle between seeking man's affirmations and allowing God to tell me my worth. Who among us does not value affirmation, connection, affection, or position as a way to validate your worth? Maybe you have even thought "When I am married I will be complete." Daily decisions to fill our God spaced hole with affirmations from man result is pews filled with masked Christians hiding messy sinful lives all the while trying to put on a good show. The official name given to these people both by the news media and the church is hypocrite. I might suggest another name. Captive. We all need God to save us from ourselves. The following is a quote from the Pastor John at Gateway Church in Austin. He shares an amazing message that shook me to my

I picked up the book Lies Women Believe a couple of years ago at Half Price Books. As I recall it seems like someone had recommended it to me. It sat on a shelf until 5 weeks ago when I found a group of ladies studying it and signed up. It has led me on a path I never imagined with an amazing group of ladies. My heart had lies throughout and I had no clue. Seriously HAD NO CLUE! The more I learned the more I began to see God's truth about me. Week after week I have repeatedly gone to God and asked Him to reveal truth to me. He has been faithful to send me glimpses of how He views me and how He intends to use me. It has been both humbling and healing. Yesterday it felt as if He went to great lengths to tell me His truth about me. I had three completely unexpected interactions with friends who shared affirmations of specific gifts in me. As my head hit the pillow I was overwhelmed, in a good way. God has a knack for swiftly sandwiching my spiritual experiences around a great piece of

"May I have some paper and a pen?" asked John Dawson to the man who would be his executioner. "I want to write my son a letter." In the novel Dawn we do not learn what was written in the letter. We are left with the question; What exactly does a man write to his son for the last time? This part of the book triggered memories of a letter I wrote to Katie Beth the night before my exploratory surgery. The idea of her growing up without me unhurled pain the likes I had never known. I prayed and asked God to help me as I wrote. The words flew onto the page. I shared my hopes and dreams for her future, words of wisdom I hoped she would treasure, and my faith. My surgery went great and the letter was never delivered. I however was changed through the process. I have reread the letter a number of times. Usually I seek it when my world has gone fuzzy and I need the clarity found best in that very scary moment. What was originally intended as a road map for my daughter has tu

I found myself completely unprepared for a conversation at my front door tonight. Twenty four hours ago a mom on our block asked me to watch her seven year old daughter. Her husband had been out of work and now they needed to move out of their home and while she packed could her daughter stay with me. This turned into spending the night, watching her today, and a very bizarre conversation tonight. In preparation to go trick-or-treating I asked both girls to shower and wash their hair. I could tell when I began to blow dry the little girl's hair she was not sure how to act. I asked if anyone had ever dried her hair before she said "No." For the last 7 years no one had ever taken time to blow her hair. This new knowledge sent a dart of sadness into my heart. We went with trick-or-treating, to a fall festival, she spent the night, went with us to church, and the girls played all day. Periodically she would come to me give me a big hug and thank me for the things I would nor

For Valentine's Day Katie Beth unwrapped an over sized, super soft, bright red towel from Brad. His gifts always have a special meaning so I waited for the full explanation. He explained to Katie Beth that when she is cold and alone he wants her to feel safe and warm all wrapped up in a big hug from him. It was a very sweet moment between a daddy and his little girl. I think John Mayer song Daughters has a lot of truth in it regarding the relationship between a daddy and his daughter. Lyrics to Daughters I know a girl she puts the color inside of my world. She's just like a maze, where all of the walls all continually change And I've done all I can to stand on the the steps, with my heart in my hands Now I started to think maybe it's got nothing to do with me Fathers be good to your daughters Daughters will love like you do Girls become lovers, who turn into mothers So mothers be good to your daughters too Oh you see that skin, it's the same she's been standing

Everywhere you turn experts are sharing the best vitamin combinations to keep you from feeling sluggish and safeguard you from getting ill. The busy calendar of Autumn seems to produce weariness followed by a hefty portion of exhaustion. I have my family on a vitamin regimen to protect us from the dreaded viruses and germs bouncing about at school and church. Spiritual exhaustion and weariness can leave us vulnerable as well. I would ask you to consider a spiritual supplement regimen especially if you are highly involved in your local church. Some of the best advice I ever got while in full time ministry was to stay well fed. In fact the statement was followed by the suggestion to regularly visit another local church for the sole purpose of nourishment. At this point in history we are blessed with superb resources online. Sermons from great ministers are a simple click away. It is my belief that a healthy spiritual regimen includes : a faith community with intimate authentic "bea

Sunday night I put the mix into the bread machine and anticipated a wonderful smelling loaf the next morning. Sadly this was not meant to be. As you can see in the picture something went terribly wrong. Up pops the ugly head of disappointment . I have a difficult time with disappointment. Disappointment in childhood If it is Thursday there is a high probability that Katie Beth will have a meltdown as we drive home from school. She has done this since she was 18 months old. It starts with a whiney voice and is followed by the list of all the things that have gone wrong in her world. It always ends with the phrase “And mom (sob) my heart is (sob) just so broken (SOB, SOB, SOB).” Between you and me this list can be pretty funny because horribly wrong to an eight year old is just nothing compared to horribly wrong to this forty year old. I usually pull over and join her in the back seat. She crawls in my lap and I hold her. Sometimes she is still stuck in her meltdown even after she has

Couples, families for that matter have their own inside jokes that are uniquely funny to them. Last weekend I was out of town and returned home to discover a dinosaur in my make-up drawer. I smiled because for the last eleven years a dinosaur has shown up out of no where when I least expect it. It has been on the coffee mugs, by the dog food, in the shower, in the fridge, on the stack of books I am reading and so on. Equally funny is that fact that this dinosaur has never been spoken of. It simple floats from destination to destination with an understood I LOVE YOU attached. And so with each placement the game continues. Ridiculous probably, but precious in ways I can only explain as the unique ambiance of my marriage, absolutely. I was reminded a few days ago of how quickly things can change and the one you LOVE can become the one you LOVED. This video prompted my post . If you are like me it will make you want to take a minute and say thank you to the ones you love for simply doing t

1. Parents pack your JUST SAY NO t-shirt. The marketing is brilliant. The girls went trick or treating through EVERY store. 2. Story hour by the big tree in the lobby is wonderful. Keep in mind it is usually the children who wear their jammies to it, NOT the adults. 3. Sleep is important. You never know what might happen so bring some type of pill to knock you out and ear plugs in case the people you are staying with want to listen to a marching band as you fall asleep. If all of this goes wrong and you awaken exhausted then remember level 2 has a Starbucks. 4. Ask if the people you are staying with have any allergies. If you don't the fragrance in your product might accidentally put one of them in anaphylactic shock. It's all good. Analisa's mom gave Analisa's grandma her shot that stops the LETHAL allergic reaction. 5. When on the tour and they say "The Great Wolf Lodge is green. What does green mean?" Don't be like the cute little boy and say "Rich

What is yours going to be? About five years ago Brad went on his usual Saturday morning hunt for arrow heads. He was gone the usual amount of time. But he returned to me a bit unusual. He had found all sorts of treasure in a mound. He showed me the pottery, the arrow heads, the fossils and then he shared.“This was someone’s treasure. This was special to someone and now it is off in a pile where no one even cares for it or about it. See this someone took a long time to make it and now it is smashed and in pieces. ” Then his tone changed. “Deana every day I work so I can provide for my family. I am buying us things that will someday be in a pile somewhere and simply left behind. My treasure will just be trash.” I would have to say this was a defining moment for our family. It led to a study as a family of the things that mattered, our legacy. How would we, the Herds, make a difference and what would our legacy be? We read through the book Twelve Pillars by Chris Widener and Jim Rohn. We

The summer between 3rd & 4th grade our family moved from Lubbock, Texas to Richland Hills,Texas. This was a devastating blow to my security. I was crushed and clearly struggling when my dad took me to Braum's for a conversation about friendship. His first recommendation was to "Be the friend you are seeking in others." He believed if you concentrated on extending friendship to others in a kind and gracious manner you will always have an abundance of friends. He also shared that I should become know as the person where the gossip stops. He said that it would always be spoken to me but I alone had the choice on how to use my influence. And he described the person who mixed gossip with their influence as one who walks around with gum on the bottom of their shoe. By that he meant something originally thought a tasty morsel becomes both annoying and embarrassing due to it's connection to you. And he taught me how to listen for people's story and validate it. He sai

When I created this blog I picked the name CLEVER CHARACTERS because both words and life are made up of characters that have left me changed, usually in a good way. I am hoping to update more often and share with you the world as seen by me. NEW JOB: I am loving it!!!! I have clients from Laos, Vietnam, Mexico, Honduras and even Chicago. Those from foreign countries have incredible stories of immigration. I am learning about their cultures and their heritage and hopefully helping shape their legacy. The other half of my class are Americans who have caught some rough breaks and are now seeking life skills and strategies to pass the GED. Some are trapped in the pain of their past and do not trust me to help them walk into their future. It is easier for them to goof off and know they will fail than it is to actually make the first attempt toward success. KATIE BETH: I am thrilled to share that KB is thriving in her new school. I have seen a marked difference in her confidence. This improv

Monday I begin a new job teaching adults strategies for succeeding in life and passing the GED. I will have the pleasure of working with each student 6 months at a time. I am thrilled to work with these individuals as they transition from their current circumstances toward the life they want. As an added bonus my hours are within the time frame of Katie Beth’s schooling and I have Fridays off to pursue my other passions.

Tonight I sat with Katie Beth to make goals for the next school year. I started to explain what a goal is and she stopped me. “Mom I know what a goal is here is my list: For School: Be on time. Good Behavior Have fun Learn more each day No Subway for lunch Mom be on time to pick her up Do her homework For family: Family night with spaghetti tacos or Pizza and then watch a movie Visit Grandma Jo & Grandpa Richard (they need her since Grandma is so sick) For Recreation: To trot on the horse the whole way around the circle.” I then asked her what she wanted me to pray about for the school year. Here is her list: “Pray about who I am supposed to be and then for me to be myself. And not to be afraid.” As a mom I am pretty proud. My favorite is that she wants God to show her who she is and then for her to be it.

Wednesday the Christian author Robert Elmer visited Fort Worth Christian. He taught the students that God gives us experiences so we can tell our stories. He stated what a huge difference it would make if every christian wrote about their story so others could learn what Jesus actually does in our lives. I thought about what he said and felt prompted to share my story. Please feel free to send any complaints to him. As I see it when something does not make sense, well, you have to object to it, right? I know I regularly walk around with objections in my head. For example I heard a great sermon last Sunday. I nodded in agreement as the minister spoke of the assurance Christians have and how we should not live under crushing fear because we know God will take care of us even in this economy. Two days later I learned that Brad needs Obama to approve money for the Air Force to have the funding needed for the F-22s they want to buy from Lockheed. Simply stated no money from Obama means Brad